fuck yeah! "Highly Recommended" from the Library Journal.

Mamaphonic: Balancing Motherhood and Other Creative Acts. Soft Skull. Nov. 2004. c.284p. ed. by Bee Lavender & Maia Rossini. illus. ISBN 1-932360-64-6. pap. $14.95. SOC SCI

For all our supposed advancement since previous generations, the societal duress implicit in our concept of the "good mother" seems to linger. In perhaps no other career choice is the tension between the self-sacrifice of motherhood and the need for self-actualization felt more strongly than in artistic and literary pursuits. This theme - along with that of the practical obstacles and unexpected inspirations of creating while tending to one child or more - is repeatedly but not repetitiously examined in this collection of essays, practical guides, poetry, and illustrations edited by writer-mamas Lavender and Rossini. The pieces are as varied as the nature of the art created by their authors, including dancers, artists, photographers, writers, singers, and 'zine creators. Still, a sense of honesty, passion and, yes, intense motherly love is apparent throughout. Highly recommended for both family/relationship and arts and literature collections.
-Kay Hogan Smith, UAB Lister Hill Lib., Birmingham, AL

I'm back. Hello friends and spambots. I see you've been busy.

At last I can blog again. First--we surrendered our attempts at setting up a wireless network. Secondly--I came home from Toronto.

I'm so tired and mentally cornholed that I can only offer disjointed impressions, in no particular order:

1. The squirrels in Canada have black fur. I distinguished myself among the fellow attendees of my conference by pointing and gawping: Lookit that black squirrel!
2. When I asked the cashier at Tim Hortons for soy milk, it was as if I'd asked her to pee in my hair. What can I say? Everyone in Austin is vegan.
3. I stepped off the plane, went through customs, and immediately resumed smoking. I'm a grownup--at least chronologically--but something about leaving my family and stepping out the door into another country all on the same day sort of freaked my shit.
4. I hadn't been around academics since I was one. Of course I felt inauthentic and inferior, which isn't new. I think everybody feels inauthentic and inferior to some extent, as these are the pressures of a career in higher learning. Fortunately I decided to get a grip about midway through and quit apologizing for myself. I am a mother and I am a writer, and if these two endeavors are worthy of analysis and discussion, then certainly they qualify me to at least sit in and watch.
5. Relatedly: Ironically academia estranges us from what we study. In so many moments I'd be asked, "And where do you teach?" And when I replied that I didn't--that I work as a mother and an author relating my experiences--it was as if I'd asked for soy milk all over again. Then why are you here? was the unasked follow-up question.
6. White, white, white. We were all so very, very white. I'm not going to find a cause and a solution to this situation while I sit here blogging with my cereal, but I think economics are a large part. I expect to spend a certain amount of my "income" traveling and doing research and promotion; that's what I signed up for when I went freelance. I wonder if it is possible to get a scholarship to a conference? Is there an organization that provides travel grants for graduate students and junior faculty? At my last previous conference--a whopping nine years ago--an organizer berated young women for not attending. (And I was young then, I guess.) "Why are they so apathetic?" she asked. We're not apathetic, I'd wanted to say--as there were some of us here just the same--we're poor!
7. Which leads me to: Second-wave feminists who deal in the analysis of mass culture sometimes just do not get the strategies of resistance for younger women. Because our strategies do not look like yours, they must be invalid. I'd say more but as I said--mentally cornholed.
8. If there is a heaven, it might resemble vintage shopping in Kensington Market.
9. I can pass for Canadian.
10. I met a lot of really cool people.
11. I took mass transit lots of places toward the end of my trip. Whenever I get on a bus or a subway (which isn't too often anymore but used to be daily) I halfway expect someone to have a psychotic episode or frotteurism. I expect to be asked for spare change. So when it happened on the York bus, I didn't have much of a reaction. A Sketchy Guy on the Bus (SGOB) sat beside me. He had tics in his hands and kept rocking and repeating words under his breath. He asked me for change and I told him that I was sorry but I'd used it all getting on the bus; in fact, I'd had to hit up another person from the conference for a dollar. He seemed to accept that and began asking other people--other men really--for change and for smokes. (He didn't ask me for smokes; I might have given him my pack!) Other people ignored him and some of them actually poked fun at him, repeating his questions mockingly, which really horrified me. When we finally got off at our stop--myself and two colleagues from Australia and the UK--the other women turned to me with alarm. "Are you okay?" they asked. Yeah, I thought, I'm fine. I'm not the one having trouble. But then it sort of hit me: It's a big deal to them because they're not used to people walking the streets with unmet needs. Their society, ironically, is much more compassionate, so they personally don't have to be.
12. We shared the hotel with the Young Conservatives of Canada (who brought Bush/Cheney signs) and the Single Professionals of Toronto, a dating club. The single professionals wore lots of sequined cocktail dresses and danced to Mambo #5. We considered infiltrating their group but I don't think anyone did, ultimately.

That's all for now.

Need some wood? No, it's not blog spam for Cialis.

It's You Forgot Poland.

the wisdom of google talk, or THE DOOR! I asked Google Talk about my life as a mother, and it had a breakdown. Pretty typical:

my life as a mother and as a result of the Drug war. is a War against Truth Paul has previously published six books in the running brooks, Sermons in stones, and good in everything. Shakespeare, As You like It. by William Shakespeare The play s The Thing. for me is to be able to subscribe to the FREE Newsletter! today! Invest Yourself Invest did did did did did you see the gorilla? It seems our Stone Age brains may simply be unable to do so. due to the recent storms in the area and other parts of the World and the Door The door the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door. the door.